Winter Sojourn Continues

We arrived in northern Kentucky without any difficulties, which I consider a Christmas miracle even though I don't celebrate Christmas.  Settling in seemed easier than in previous visits, and red wine probably contributed to that feeling.

Since arriving, I had the pleasure of last minute Christmas shopping with my dad.  This tradition is important to me because it is an opportunity to hear how things are with him without interruption.  Our shopping trip was short, but I enjoyed his company.  After the shopping, we met up with the rest of the family (my mom, the kids, and Aaron) for lunch at Cracker Barrel.  You either love Cracker Barrel or hate Cracker Barrel.  I adore Cracker Barrel.  I get nostalgic for Cracker Barrel.  It's one of the few places with too much kitsch and too many people that I absolutely love.  I know it's all marketing, but it feels so cozy to me.  Some day I will own white Cracker Barrel rocking chairs.  Some day I will be able to make buttermilk biscuits as tasty as the ones there.  Okay, enough waxing poetic on Cracker Barrel.  

After an overfilling lunch, we visited my Mamaw.  For you pure northerners, I mean my paternal grandmother. Mamaw and Papaw are southern words for grandma and grandpa.  I am in awe of my Mamaw.  She birthed six babies, raised five, all with very little income.  Then she helped to raise some of my cousins, and she always let her grandchildren stay with her no matter how inconvenient. She had a vegetable garden and canned lots of the harvest.  She raised chickens, both for eggs and meat.  She only had about a third grade education, but she is one of the smartest ladies I know.  Until a few years ago, she was living on her own, but now she lives in a nursing home.  It's hard to see her there.  I think of her as strong and wise, but now I see only the wisdom and her love.  She gets around on a hovercraft style wheelchair.  We had a quiet visit, but I'm always glad to see her.  I tell her about the kids, try to figure out how she managed with so much less.  She just says "what do you mean how did I do it?  I just did what I did. You just do it."  And so I tell myself that when  I'm having a rough day.  You just do it.

Jacob napped after the visit, and the kids worked on a gingerbread house with my mom.  It was a very long project, so we passed the waiting time with rainbow looms.  It was fun to craft together, and I don't consider myself a crafty person.  Here's a picture of their construction efforts.

I'm writing this on Christmas Day, and there is lots to add about the frenzy of Christmas morning. However, I will say that Christmas Eve was a good day.  The kids have been happy almost the whole time they have been here.  We leave for northwest Indiana tomorrow morning.  For those of you traveling, may your journeys be safe and peaceful.  For everyone, may your family gatherings be full of love and joy.

Winter Sojourn 2013 - Day One

Today started early.  Aaron set a goal of leaving the house by 7am.  He planned to wake the children at 6 and be actually driving by 7.  I lowered the goal by suggesting we would certainly be able to be moving by 8, with 6am waking up.

The children are mostly morning people.  The Tiger would prefer to sleep in, wake and move at her own pace, but all of the boys (Ringleader Aaron too actually) do quite well with early hours.  I hate mornings.  Before kids, there was only one 6:00 in each day, and that was approximately when dinner might start to happen.  Aaron worked around this issue by insisting I have the first shower.  I love showers and baths.  Morning showers are my morning coffee.  I am mostly ready for the world after a nice hot morning shower.  While I showered, my awesome morning person husband convinced the Monkey and the Tiger to get dressed while holding the cheerful Goat.  By the time I stumbled downstairs, all children were dressed and eating or helping in some way to get us out the door.  This is basically unheard of in our house.  Most mornings include at least one fight between Monkey and Tiger and one argument between me and either Monkey or Tiger and sometimes with both.  Today the only bickering that I recall was between me and the Tiger about what I meant by regular shoes. Regular shoes are not the dinosaur slippers you recently rediscovered and can't seem to part with.  Regular shoes are not the sparkly rain boots that you think you need to wear because the snow is melting and thus it is wet out there.  Nope.  Regular shoes really does mean the black running shoes you insisted on even though I think they indicate you will wear black makeup when you are a teenager.

OK, in the car!  Buckled up!  Everyone has used the toilet, figured out where the toys are, has a fluffy thing, adjusted the air vents, made sure water bottles are able to be opened, no really used the toilet and not just noticed that the bathroom has a toilet.  Time check?  Place your bets... Did we leave by 7?

7:26, with 6am waking up.  Not bad for a little three ring circus.

The drive itself was rather uneventful.  There were next to no arguments (cue Twilight Zone music).  I had delightful and necessary naps, since I'm coming down with a cold (Happy Holidays to me). The Knights' Tales audiobooks are still funny.  We made three stops I think. One was for gas, air, and bathrooms.  Another was for bathrooms, right before we found our lunch stop (number 3). And we came to our regular hotel in State College, PA.  I highly recommend this hotel, the Best Western University Park on Shiloh.  It is right off the highway, has terrific service, comfortable rooms, and is near to many restaurants which I'm sure would be great if we ever branch out.  We stick with Brother's Pizza and would recommend it too since the food is delicious and the service is friendly.  The folks there actually recognize us, despite our infrequent visits!  Hmm... Maybe they recognize us because we stand out just like circus performers... Loud, colorful, amusing... :). 

Tomorrow's destination will be my parents' home.

The Circus Winter Sojourn

My family takes two annual driving trips to the Midwest where we visit family.  One trip happens in the summer, when my co-Ringleader wraps up his summer teaching.  The other trip happens in the winter, when my kids are on break from school.  The summer trip often feels like an adventure.  We plan fun outdoor excursions to parks for hiking.  We sometimes stop at an interesting museum.  The scenery is lovely.  The winter trip feels like a journey.  Don't get me wrong.  We are excited to see family.  They are excited to see us.  The sense of adventure is a bit lacking.  It is cold and can be dreary (think of the cold and blustery day from Winnie the Pooh), so outdoor fun is limited.  Nevertheless, we make the journey.  We live far from our immediate family, and we want to have relationships with them.

I mentioned these are driving trips.  Let me paint a picture.  We are a family of 5, traveling in our Honda Odyssey minivan, packed to the gills with everything we might need and that which we don't need but not with what we've forgotten.  The Monkey sits in the back row, next to what we've packed.  The Tiger sits in the middle row to provide a safe distance between her and the Monkey.  The Goat also sits in the middle row, but faces the Monkey (rear facing until at least 2!). The once clearly visible aisle gets cluttered almost immediately with items from the bags of tricks.  The bags of tricks are essential. They contain books, coloring supplies, small toys, and specially chosen stuffed animals. Under the Goat's seat, we stow the small cooler and bag of snacks.  Everyone has water at their seat, even the Goat, though of course his ends up on the floor of the van before we reach the end of our street.  This configuration is how we will spend the next two days together, for at least 8 hours each day.

Some of our friends think we are rather insane for making this journey at all, let alone twice a year.  There are times we agree with them.  Cramped quarters lead to bonding experiences, and of course memories we might like to forget.  Over the summer, we had a wretched moment while trying to find a particular spot to hike, and the animals ... I mean, children... couldn't seem to control what came out of their mouths. Potty talk would be a generous compliment.  On that same trip, thanks to kind neighbors, we discovered a fantastic audiobook series which we all still quote regularly.

The trip is not exactly easy.  Life with young children often isn't easy.  The trip is worth the difficulties.  Our kids can get to know their grandparents and at least some cousins.  The grandparents and cousins can get to know us.  Even with phone calls and the ability to video chat, nothing really beats an in-person experience.  So here we go with a bit of documenting from this winter's sojourn.

Firsts

When I became a parent, I experienced a lot of firsts.  Many of these firsts are joyous, touching, lovely, and charming.  First smiles, first rolling, first crawling, first walking, first words.  I documented so many details for my first child, The Monkey.  And as you might expect, my documentation has diminished with the next two kids (Tiger and Goat). Not only has the documentation shrunk, but the content has changed as well.  The typical milestones get supplemented with other firsts, not always so beautiful as the traditional ones.  I now take pictures of kids at their best, and I take pictures of the kids not at their best. Just keeping it real, you know?  After all, before becoming a parent, I knew about the traditional firsts like smiling and walking and talking.  Since becoming a parent, I've encountered many other firsts.

The first time I bought something to end a tantrum.
The first time my child's inappropriate language became a running joke among parents.
The first time my children conspired together to do something against the rules.

The list could go on, of course, and I hope you have your own list of firsts. Thanks to The Monkey and The Tiger, very little shocks me.  Over the past year, I've felt pretty sure that The Goat won't do much I haven't seen or heard about from the other two or their various friends and classmates.  As my mother often says, pride goes before the fall.

Today when the older circus animals were being trained, I was at home with The Goat.  The Goat was not happy and seemed out of sorts.  He was cranky enough that I took his temperature, which came iback normal.  Since I didn't want to listen to his fussing inside all day, I thought a change of venue might do the trick.  At the very least, I would get something done if we left the house, and MAYBE he would fall asleep in the car.  We went to BJ's warehouse club (similar to Sam's or Costco) because The Co-Ringleader was out of coffee, and we needed a few other things we typically get there.

The Goat did NOT fall asleep in the car, and he was NOT happy to be out.  This was unusual for him since he is a wonderfully mellow baby who often falls asleep in the car and finds the world an interesting place.  I consider myself very blessed to have such a child.  I know what it is like to have a child who hates the car and is not at all mellow.  Anyway, I hurried my way through the list, and The Goat endured the shopping reasonably well.  Then this happened.

Now, I've dealt with a lot of vomit in my almost 8 years of parenting. I'm not grossed out by it.  It is just something that unfortunately happens but is much better out than in.  That said, none of my kids has puked on me in public before.  Yes, they have spit up as infants.  Yes, they have vomited outside of home (at grandparents' house, for example). And I have ended up with puke on me before.  Yet today was a first.  There I was at the produce aisle of BJ's with my sweatshirt covered in vomit and standing precariously close to stepping in the puddle of vomit that didn't make it to my shirt or coat.

And not a single baby wipe in my possession.

But the show must go on!  It was an amateur's mistake not to have the fully loaded diaper bag even in the van.  Yet we made it home with the groceries and my sanity.  Thankfully, an employee happened to be in the produce aisle and quickly brought me paper towels to sop up the mess on me and The Goat. Thankfully, our BJ's has self-checkout lanes so I didn't have to wait except for the [insert stream of expletives] technical glitches despite following the instructions.  Thankfully, I didn't see anyone I knew, and especially not anyone I would rather not see when I'm having a bad time.

Once The Goat and I were back home, this happened.

Welcome to My Little Three Ring Circus!

The Collins English Dictionary, courtesy of The Free Dictionary, defines a three-ring circus as a "situation of confusion, characterized by a bewildering variety of events or activities."  Such is my life, and I imagine the life of anyone with children living at home.  I have started this blog to share acts of my personal three ring circus, to find the humor in the crazy times and to express gratitude for my place in this world.  To get started, allow me to introduce my circus performers.

The Co-Ringleader - Aaron, my dear husband since 2001 and best friend since we met in 1998, father to our three children.  For paying work, he teaches at a major research university and provides network consulting to another university.  When not working at a university or wrangling the circus animals, he enjoys running and does a bang up job of maintaining our household.

The Monkey - My eldest child who I also will call C, born in March 2006.  Most kids love to climb and move their bodies.  Most kids enjoy being funny.  C takes movement and humor to the extreme.  He loves testing limits of all kinds, and he might make a fantastic lawyer or politician someday given his negotiation attempts.  Or perhaps he will join a different kind of circus given his amazing climbing abilities and physical flexibility.

The Tiger - My middle child who I also will call E, born in May 2008. She is beautiful and has the potential for graceful behavior, until you cross her.  Then take cover!  E is often a mystery to me, just like big cats seem mysterious to me.  How are domestic cats related to those enormous animals?  Yet the behavior of domestic cats often resembles their wilder cousins.  And so it is with E.  I wonder how on earth she came from me and then I see her doing or saying something just like I would.

The Goat - My youngest child who I also will call J, born in September 2013.  The goat may transform to a more common circus animal as he grows up.  For now, he is very pro-food, eating nearly everything we offer and trying to eat many things we don't.  He is a mostly mellow observer of the Monkey and Tiger antics, and he usually finds them very entertaining.  

As for my own role in the circus, I share the Ringleader title, and I often feel like a tightrope walker.  I'm trying to make sure everything happens when and where it is supposed to happen, and I'm walking a very thin line trying to balance all of our needs and wants.  

Now on to the show!